Family and friends.

Friendships

Today I woke up and realized that some people I have considered close enough to be family, have begun to separate themselves due to my life choices and changes within our marriage. In some aspects I’m broken but I’m others I’m disappointed. 

I’m broken because deep friendships should walk with you through it all. They don’t have to understand it but a true friend embraces you, they dint have to have the answers they don’t even have to talk. But they don’t discard you, they don’t invite you to get together. 

I’m disappointed because I don’t understand why my life affects others?  What I’m starting to understand is it’s their own issues within themselves. Their own insecurities and then it’s pushed upon me or us. When it has nothing to do with us. I’m disappointed that someone my wife has been there for has turned her back on my wife. I guess I’m not surprised. I’m not supposed these friendships have come with conditions. I think I’ve I’m honest with myself I’ve known this all along. Shauna and I often conformed to others needs including each other’s and as we walk this path together we no longer will conform. I’m not going to make you feel comfortable with who I am.  That’s not my roll in all of this. I use to make it my roll but now it’s time to let it go. 

I cherish friendships and connection. I struggle with those losses. It hurts. But I’m also learning who wants to be around and who can’t. And those that can’t I don’t want around anyway.